No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

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asi1998
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No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by asi1998 » 02 Jan 2013, 01:30

So after lots of thinking, I feel like im losing my religion. Everyone around me is religious and I'd be a lone dog if I changed. The problem I have, is being able to be my actual self. I don't want to have to lie to everyone and say I'm Christian if asked (yes, I actually do this) but if I did admit it, It would break my familie's heart and everyone at school (It's a Christian School) would hate me and bug me about it. The one time I announced not feeling religious to my grandmother, she started crying saying stuff like "Satan won me over" and started crying and when I told me mom, she was "incredibly saddened" by me and I had that guilty conciousness feeling all night long. Should I be open (my life would probably suck) or pretend to still be religious (Id be a big liar)? Plz help (and don't attack me or turn this into a debate plz either)
Last edited by asi1998 on 02 Jan 2013, 02:21, edited 1 time in total.
-asi1998
~John 3:16
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motormaniac
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Re: No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by motormaniac » 02 Jan 2013, 02:05

Well first thing, straighten it out with your parents before worrying about friends. Hiding it isn't a good idea, because it will definitely stress you out if you're always thinking about it. If nothing else, just talk about it. Tell your parents why you feel the way you do. They will probably be a bit disappointed at first(saying from experience)but it's not like they won't love you. They're your parents. Friends I'm not so sure about, as I don't go to a christian school and don't know how serious is it there :? As for your grandmother's response, she really didn't need to say that in my opinion. Being sad is one thing, but saying "satan won you over" is a bit overboard. So I wouldn't think about that too much. So if you decide to be open about it, take it slow when telling people, as they tend to take it a bit better. Hope it helps.
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Godavari
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Re: No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by Godavari » 02 Jan 2013, 02:20

I urge you to be cautious. I've heard horror stories about non-religious kids coming out to their religious parents. I personally didn't run in to any kind of trouble, but there have been cases where the parents completely disowned their child; kicked them out of the house, took away trust funds, and cut off all contact. I don't know your situation, and that's very extreme, so I'm not saying that it'll definitely happen. If you think your parents will be accepting, you can judge for yourself whether or not you want to come out to them. But if you're unsure, it may be best to wait until you're no longer dependent on them. Also, given your age, they're more likely to take you seriously if you tell them when you're older.

There's no shame in maintaining the status quo if you think it might change for the worse. And if you ever need someone to talk to about these sorts of issues, there are plenty of communities online that will help you out (including this one). You don't have to feel alone if you choose not to tell your friends and family.
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motormaniac
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Re: No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by motormaniac » 02 Jan 2013, 02:24

One thing I forgot to say that goda talked about, really think about it before telling your parents. Because as he said, they either react really nicely or really badly. I'm not trying to scare you or anything, but don't tell them until later if they are very religious.
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random980
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Re: No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by random980 » 02 Jan 2013, 06:38

First time i talked to you on this server we had a civilised discussion about religion. (even though it was rudely interrupted by a few) So i ask, what's made you change your mind? You came across as very faithful in Christianity.

Ultimately this is a choice you must make yourself. Its up to you to analyse the situation and the consequences that may follow. Do you think they'll really get mad enough to do something drastic? Or do you think they will come to accept your decision? (even if it takes time and an argument could arise.) If you do decide to start telling people make sure you start with the people who you trust the most to accept your decision and will be supportive. It's best not to tell your parents first about certain things until you're confident you want to.
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asi1998
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Re: No Longer Religious, How do I tell others, or do I?

Post by asi1998 » 02 Jan 2013, 17:02

Godavari wrote: there have been cases where the parents completely disowned their child; kicked them out of the house, took away trust funds, and cut off all contact.
Its nowhere near that intense. The only thing keeping me from telling them is me having the guilty conscience of breaking their hearts that will definitely stick with me.

Thx
-asi1998
~John 3:16
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