two questions.

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michaeld20
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two questions.

Post by michaeld20 » 07 Jun 2011, 21:07

1.Was this in ANY way related to me?(ive asked for advice alot from you guys <3)
The below content is only for those who dont care about "references" go away if too young!(thanks <3)
Spoiler! :
2. I know this girl. i used to have a thing for her. and i care about her. she is now dating a person who has made other girls uhh... "do things" i really want to explain this to her because thats just not right... but im not sure how to... any help?
"Some people in this world, they think their invincible... well thats just not true... beacause if you make just ONE mistake it could all end in a matter of seconds and then really how invincible are you?"- Myself
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Jake55778
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Re: two questions.

Post by Jake55778 » 07 Jun 2011, 21:27

If these people want to "do things" together, what's the problem?

I'm confused, was there more context to this that I'm missing?
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Godavari
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Re: two questions.

Post by Godavari » 07 Jun 2011, 21:33

I think the important part, Jake, is that he made them "do things." If I'm catching the right drift, that means they were non-consensual.

My advice is just to tell her. It's something she ought to know. Be sure to have some way to back up what you know, otherwise she may accuse you of making up stuff due to jealousy. Most importantly, you need to accept the fact that she might hate you for a while as she gets a grip on what you told her. Just keep in mind that she'll likely thank you in the end.
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Jake55778
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Re: two questions.

Post by Jake55778 » 07 Jun 2011, 21:44

Okay can we stop tip-toeing around here? Are we talking about rape/sexual assualt? If so then absolutely you should tell her, she deserves to know what she's getting into, and the police too if they aren't already informed.
The way you phrased things, to me, implied something less serious.
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makkaal
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Re: two questions.

Post by makkaal » 08 Jun 2011, 01:41

The way I understand it the bigger problem is not the situation itself but rather how to get the information across.
I'm guessing you don't want her to accuse you of jealousy (which sounds plausible) and thus not listen to you.

I'd say this depends on what your stance is with her. Do you guys hang out? Are you even in touch at all? What does "had a thing for her" mean, were the two of you together or not? Let me put it this way - if you're getting along fine friendship-wise then it shouldn't be a problem if you told her in person.

Either way, whatever it is that boy does, I don't think you're the only one who's heard it about this guy. And you probably have one or another friend in common. Have -them- tell her, maybe? If this dude is so bad for her, you shouldn't have too much trouble getting someone to drop that line.
If someone has already mentioned this guy's bad behavior to her, you can fall in and shouldn't seem as jealous as if you just told her by yourself.

However, and this is important - if that doesn't work out and she still decides to be with this guy, you need to decide whether you're a good friend or not. Because if you are, you won't pressure her, even if you are right and you are just worried. Trying to force her would just backfire. Sometimes, people just need to make bad decisions to learn from them. A good friend is there when you realize that all you did went to crap.
(Don't get your hopes up about getting something out of this for yourself, though. "Saving" a girl like that and you getting her affection instead of him basically only works in the movies.)

Another thing. In the beginning I assumed you were older, I had to look up your age in your profile. You should realize that my advice for you is different from the advice I'd give someone five years older.
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Blackadder51
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Re: two questions.

Post by Blackadder51 » 08 Jun 2011, 01:55

1: Nah me and ninja were talking, somehow it came up and we both relised that it would be a good idea.

2: How good friends are you with this chick? If you more of an acquaintance then friend I would not get involved. It can and will backfire. If you are besties tell her but i wouldnt mention the fact you dig her.

Keep in mind, if you were older the situation would be different. Also more info on what the "bad things" would be good, but all in go with you gut feeling.
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SneakyPie
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Re: two questions.

Post by SneakyPie » 08 Jun 2011, 06:26

Jake55778 wrote:Okay can we stop tip-toeing around here? Are we talking about rape/sexual assualt? If so then absolutely you should tell her, she deserves to know what she's getting into, and the police too if they aren't already informed.
The way you phrased things, to me, implied something less serious.
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michaeld20
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Re: two questions.

Post by michaeld20 » 08 Jun 2011, 11:32

Its more like pressure. well ive got all i need guys, thanks <3
"Some people in this world, they think their invincible... well thats just not true... beacause if you make just ONE mistake it could all end in a matter of seconds and then really how invincible are you?"- Myself
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Lord_Mountbatten
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Re: two questions.

Post by Lord_Mountbatten » 08 Jun 2011, 11:35

Get everyone to follow my usual advice. It will help.

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