Escapecraft

The Heroes' Guild is recruiting! The guild's hit tough times recently, what with the recession and all, and we're in dire need of fresh blood. All we need you to do is sign on the dotted line below (no need to read the small print, it's all legal mumbo-jumbo and such) and give us your HERO NAME. Make it exciting! Something fantasy-esque, possibly with a fancy title. Something like... "Graham the Mundane"! No, wait. Not that. See, my imagination's rubbish. I'm sure you can think of something much better. Don't worry about picking one of our many hero classes, or getting yourself some equipment. Our official super-duper Hero Welcome Kit will take care of that in due time.

Team Super Happy Adventure Fun Time (SHAFT)! starring:
RobipodSupreme as Sqarkwad, Lord of Panthorn
Minnerthecat as Olrik Stonesplitter of the Dwarven Highlands
TyreseEngineer as Guy of Pinedell
"Come on, grab your friends, we'll go to very distant lands!"
Team StinvunIndusCommBotics! starring:
Sti Jo Lew as Sti, Hermit of the Forgotten Isles
Invunarble as Lord Bountmatten, First Earl of Zimbabwe
Spyboticsguy as himself
"Science and violence rhyme for a reason! Wait, do they even rhyme?"
Team Triforce! starring:
Flux04 as Flux of the Owl Lands
Iron Fang as Wolf Lord Iron Fang of the Vlka Fenryka (Wolves of Fenris)
Andy25100 as Kate MacCaffrey, The Rabbit of Armitage
"So you need to get an owl, a wolf and a rabbit across a river..."
Team Scum and Villainy! starring:
Aflycon as Macho Man Oughbel Savage
Shaunpat99 as Sir Rowan Kireviel
Random980 as goddamn Obscuro "The Miraculous" Ultimusbeard!
"Stop! You have violated the law! Pay the court a fine or- oh god, what are you doing to my organs!?"
Interested in joining the ranks? We're now recruiting for teams 5 and 6, featuring exotic new character classes! (In other words, weird and wonderful bottom-of-the-barrel scrapings!)

Sqarkwad, Lord of Panthorn

Aye! Olrik Stonesplitter of the Dwarven Highlands, reporting for duty!

Hi, is this the Heroes' Guild? I'm Guy of Pinedell. I heard you had places in your guild?

"Ah, how convenient! Just when I was looking for three heroes, look how many show up! You three will be perfect candidates for our latest experiment - uh, I mean, exciting adventure!

Now, normally we send brave warriors off on their own to slay dragons, save princesses and whatnot. They usually don't come back. We figure being all on their lonesome may be a little detrimental to their health. Then we tried some dynamic duos, but there was this whole "Odd Couple" vibe going on... it didn't go so well. But y'know what they say - THREE is the magic number, so guess what? You guys are... drumroll please... the Guild's first Trinity of Heroes!

You, yes, YOU, will band together to take on whatever godforsaken quests the good heroes turned down. Sqarkwad, Olrik and Guy, you'll need to decide on a kick-ass TEAM NAME amongst yourselves. If you can't come to an agreement I'll pick a suggestion at random.

Oh, and there's one more thing. You'll want to get yourselves some classes! Can't have you being all generic and unhelpful, now can we? I'm sure you want to be a noble paladin or a badass barbarian, or one of those creepy necromancer dudes. I get it, we've all had power fantasies at one time or another.

Weeeell... here's the thing. EVERYONE wants to be the cool guys. No-one ever wants to be the healer or the bard or the weird animal-talking druid guy. To be honest, that's probably why we lost so many of our tough guys - no support backin' 'em up, y'know what I mean? They think they can just rush in swinging their oversized swords at Grothnar the Impetious like oversized swords are going out of style. Guess what? They get smushed into paste because some virtuous do-gooder wasn't there to cast Finger of Resurrection or whatever.

So here's how we do things now. Your official fine-and-dandy Hero Welcome Kits come with classes packed in 'em. You get your class, and that's you. I don't care how much experience you've had as a ranger, if you're gonna be a paladin, you'll damn well be a paladin. No takesies backsies. It's a little fairer on the more... exotic classes, y'know? Anyway, you guys can pick yourselves a team name while I go prep your welcome kits and photocopy some certificates with your names on 'em so you can feel all important."

"Oh, and anyone else still interested? Feel free, we always need more dragon fodder."

Sti, Hermit of the Forgotten Isles, wishes to turn this Trinity into a quartet!

"Four? FOUR heroes!? Are you nuts! They say three's a crowd, let alone four. I can't even begin to imagine the dysfunction. No no no, that's not how we roll. Once we've seen our share of trios brutally murderlized by horrible monsters, we'll think about foursies. Until then, you'll have to wait for more suckers- I mean brave heroes to show up to make another team of three. Then we can totally have guild leaderboards and PvP duels and peeing contests! Wait, scratch that last one."

Also, on a more serious and much less entertaining note, the as yet undisclosed game mechanics are designed around teams of three.

Well then, I shall stay back and play wonderful music for our heroes on my trusty electric triangle.

Team Super Adventure Happy Fun Time, I think

Am I too late? I'd like to join My "name" is Lord Bountmatten, 1st Earl of Zimbabwe.

"One can never be too late to take up arms and defend our fair realm against dragons and ogres and petty vandals spraying graffiti on the Guild walls- HEY! Stop that! Go on, shoo! Damn kids. Anyway, you'll have to wait for a third volunteer to form a Trinity with you and Sti. I suggest you start thinking up team names right away!"

StinvunInduscomms

"My name is Spyboticsguy. No fancy titles. I'm looking for employment and heard this was the place to stop by."

Flux of the Owl Lands, Joins the fight! Avian Humanoid... Owl Warrior... Bird Lady.

Wolf Lord Iron Fang of the Vlka Fenryka (Wolves of Fenris) and I shall join this quest with my hammer and shield to expand my saga!

I'll be Kate MacCaffrey, The Rabbit of Armitage.

"Awright then, we got us three Trinities. Someone needs to run out to the storeroom and pick us up a new batch of welcome packs; we've only got enough for these three teams. Until we get some more stock, no new applicants."

"Team 2, you'll be inducted shortly. Team 3, where's your damn team name?"

Team Tri-force?

"Hey, I found some spare welcome packs behind the fridge - only enough for a fourth team though. First come, first served!"

Oughbel the Valiant-but-Somewhat-Cowardly steps forth to accept this great and foreboding challenge - to create a fourth team.

Sir Rowan Kireviel has accepted the challenge and decided to join the fourth team!

Obscuro "The Miraculous" Ultimusbeard! and his pet sparrow Lord Featherbutt Have decided to join this teeny tiny and hopefully booze filled adventure.
Grandmaster guru of all things confusing, unlikely, anything MANLY and facial hair. ("manly" to be pronounced in a loud, deep, grungy voice that's so testosterone filled that wenches people wet themselves upon hearing it.)

(also can the last trinity be bad guys? (if shaun and afly are ok with it.)

Random just won the thread. We should all just give up.

random980 wrote:(also can the last trinity be bad guys? (if shaun and afly are ok with it.)

I'll have to change my name to Macho Man Oughbel Savage, but I don't mind.

Sti_Jo_Lew wrote:Random just won the thread. We should all just give up.

I think you will like my new signature

aflycon wrote:

random980 wrote:(also can the last trinity be bad guys? (if shaun and afly are ok with it.)

I'll have to change my name to Macho Man Oughbel Savage, but I don't mind.

Yes, our characters shall be a Mischievous trio of all things Macho, Manly and <what ever word Shaun chooses> ^_^

"Alright then, we got us four trinities. I suppose I'll be handing out your welcome packs now! Let's take the first team's back and give 'em out again... for consistency, y'know? Anyway, here are your team lineups and randomly selected classes. You'd better hope you didn't get the Bard... geheheh!"

Team Super Happy Adventure Fun Time (SHAFT)! starring:
RobipodSupreme as Sqarkwad, Lord of Panthorn
Minnerthecat as Olrik Stonesplitter of the Dwarven Highlands
TyreseEngineer as Guy of Pinedell
"Come on, grab your friends, we'll go to very distant lands!"
Team StinvunIndusCommBotics! starring:
Sti Jo Lew as Sti, Hermit of the Forgotten Isles
Invunarble as Lord Bountmatten, First Earl of Zimbabwe
Spyboticsguy as himself
"Science and violence rhyme for a reason! Wait, do they even rhyme?"
Team Triforce! starring:
Flux04 as Flux of the Owl Lands
Iron Fang as Wolf Lord Iron Fang of the Vlka Fenryka (Wolves of Fenris)
Andy25100 as Kate MacCaffrey, The Rabbit of Armitage
"So you need to get an owl, a wolf and a rabbit across a river..."
Team Scum and Villainy! starring:
Aflycon as Macho Man Oughbel Savage
Shaunpat99 as Sir Rowan Kireviel
Random980 as goddamn Obscuro "The Miraculous" Ultimusbeard!
"Stop! You have violated the law! Pay the court a fine or- oh god, what are you doing to my organs!?"
"So there you have it. Four trinities, twelve heroes. The quests begin... TONIGHT!"

"Alright, you 'orrible lot, time for some quests! I'll need some team members to step up and claim these bad boys; as usual, it's first come first served!"

Heroes' Guild, City of Blatherswell - Today's Quests

That Old Chestnut (claimed by Team SHAFT)
"The cellar's swarming with rats! They're eating the cheese, swimming in the beer - it's awful! Help me, heroes!"
Location: The Shovit Inn, Blatherswell High Street
Contact: Ivana Shovit, proprietor

Kitchen Nightmares (claimed by Team Triforce)
"Those bandits from the slums have made off with me wife, and there's laundry needs doing! Help me, heroes!"
Location: Blatherswell Suburbs
Contact: Gordon Bennett, concerned homeowner

Lore Enforcement (claimed by Team Stinvunbotics)
"Word on the street is there's a shipment of illegal magical goods coming into the docks tonight. We're gonna bust this sh*t wide open. Help me, heroes!"
Location: Blatherswell Guardhouse
Contact: Lancelot "Strong-Arm" McDervish, captain of the guard

Remedy Extremity (assigned to Team S&V)
"My grandma's sick with the squitties and I need a bunch of wranglewort leaves to make a herbal tonic! Help me, heroes!"
Location: Pestle Pushers Apothecary, Blatherswell High Street
Contact: Pansy Pestle, apothecarist

Lore Enforcement! I want lore enforcement!

rofl, Sti is a bard.

Also all of the yus for drug raid- er, Lore Enforcement.

Kitchen Nightmares! Let's take on Amy's Baking Company! I shall use the power of frost and wolves to kick ass!