Escapecraft

Whee, have a blatant copy of the other Mall Fight thread, this one based on the rules of Escapist Mall Fight #1.

Rules:
- You're trapped in a mall. Fight to the death! (You won't stay dead for long.)
- There are no conventional weapon stores in the mall.
- There are no weapon sections in stores that would normally have them.
- There are no god-power stores.
- Basically, there are only regular mall stores in this mall.

Use your imagination to outwit and outweapon your enemies!

---

I spawn and run to the cookware section of a department store. I immediately begin fashioning myself crude body armour from pots and pans.

Ah, yay! No more iron chuck norrises...

I spawn in a cooking store. I get several sharp knives and a knife sharpener, then head over to the Outdoor Living store just a few stores away. I gather a lot of matches, then head over to the hardware store, gathering wood. I then set the wood down, clear the surrounding area of flammable materials, and start a fire. Knowing I must get it to at least 1000˚ Celsius to make it malleable enough to hammer together, I pile the wood strategically and use a fire prodder to hold some knife blades over the fire.

After the blades reach 1000˚ Celsius, I remove them from the fire, place them down on a steel table, and hammer them with a hammer.

After hammering them together, I have a crude but deadly longsword, with sharp, fairly straight edges.

I then go back to the Outdoor Living store, climb into a sleeping bag in the back of an aisle, and sleep.

I grab a dvd player, a copy of Fight Club, and a wheelbarrow full of soap, and barricade myself in wherever they sell bathtubs. I'll then booby trap the door just like in Home Alone to deal with anyone who manages to break down the barricade. If nobody can get to me in time I'll have enough homemade explosive to destroy the mall killing everyone.

I'll survive of course by hiding in a fridge Indiana Jones style.

(Movie logic FTW)

I run to the toy section. I find a big green bouncy inflatable green ball and some toys insides box's. I construct my mini fort and hold my green ball, ready to fire.

I wake up. I head back to the cooking store and gather some pots, then head back to my original fire and start it up again. I cut out the sides of the pots so that all that is left of them are flat metal discs. Then I use some nails from the hardware store to connect them, and then melt the seams together. I then put the makeshift armour on, grabbed my sword, and headed out to scavenge for food.

697134002 wrote: I gather a lot of matches, then head over to the hardware store, gathering wood. I then set the wood down, clear the surrounding area of flammable materials, and start a fire. Knowing I must get it to at least 1000˚ Celsius.

Good luck getting wood to burn at 1000 degrees C (more like 300)

697134002 wrote:I wake up. I head back to the cooking store and gather some pots, then head back to my original fire and start it up again. I cut out the sides of the pots so that all that is left of them are flat metal discs. Then I use some nails from the hardware store to connect them, and then melt the seams together. I then put the makeshift armour on, grabbed my sword, and headed out to scavenge for food.

And good luck getting Stainless steel to melt at 1000 degrees C (more like 1500)

...then again if we're going for realism I'd probably suffocate trying to shelter in my fidge

I'm not doing stainless steel, I'm doing iron. People have gotten it VERY hot in the past, with only fire, and that means that a guy in a hardware store can, too.

I go the napkins section and grab heaps of them, a big arse wedding knife, a camping lighter and silver platter. I then go to the hardware shop and grab myself bottles of methylated sprits. I then go to the bottle shop and grab the most expensive vodka, some good beer and black sambuca. Now that im set up, I play some classic 80's tunes, and chill. Oh and theres fire puddles near the shop now.

I know have a shield, booze (for teh pain and lolz), a big arse knife, Molotovs (metho and/or vodka) and fire.

COME AT ME BITCHES

Curses I have been foiled! Such mastery of fire will surely doom us all

...meanwhile I'm trapped in a fridge surrounded by slowly fermenting explosives

i run to the garage and using the pipes, pumps and fuel there make a crude but effective flamethrower.

i then rig up the doors to the mains electricity. NOONE GETS IN!

I stand up and get out of my fort. I look around the corners of the isles.I hear 80's music and see black. I then yell "I AM COMING AT YE"!!

I see jake running outside, in a state of despair because he has seen my mastery of fire. I run towards him and swing my sword at him.

I spawn on an escalator and ride up it. I walk over to a store and grab a wheelbarrow, some lighter fluid, and a box of matches. I walk around the store covering everything I see in the lighter fluid.
*About 2 hours later*
I'm done covering everything. I take out the matches and set them down. I take a match out and strike it against the side of the box. I have a flame. I drop the match and run into a electrical appliance store and hide in a refrigerator. I grab an apple and eat it, waiting for everyone to scream. Hehehe...

My sword cuts into jake and kills him. Then I see fuzz running around with his lighter fluid, and stealthily follow him. When he drops the match, I throw a sponge at the lighter fluid, absorbing it and making the rest not light.

697134002 wrote:My sword cuts into jake and kills him.

What!? My barricade, booby traps, and impenetrable fridge were not protection enough? Blast! I shall have my revenge!!!

Without me alive to tend to it one of my many bathtubs full of explosives reached meating point and detonates prematurely. Fortunately I kept the bathtubs spaced out so the explosion doesn't spark a chain reaction and destroy the building, but it does collapse a large section of the roof. Falling rubble catches 697134002 as he tries to flee and pins him to the ground. His armour saves him from the inital impact, but he is now trapped beneath a slab of concrete with one leg broken and his sword out of reach... easy prey for any who might find him

Trapped beneath the rubble, I do the only thing I CAN do: Take the armour off of my free arm and use it to reach my sword and pull it towards me, then hack away at the rubble. By the time I am free, however, I am exhausted and lie there in agony.

697134002 wrote:Trapped beneath the rubble, I do the only thing I CAN do: Take the armour off of my free arm and use it to reach my sword and pull it towards me, then hack away at the rubble. By the time I am free, however, I am exhausted and lie there in agony.

Somebody get him quick while he's weak Avenge my death!

/bloodlust

I go to a hunting store and get a .22 rifle and some ammo. I walk over to 697 and say "Say hello to my little friend," and shoot him. Then I grab my box of matches and some more lighter fluid and go over to the sponge. I make a huge puddle of lighter fluid and put a match in it. *BOOOOOOOM* A big explosion happens. The whole front of the mall is destroyed. "FREEDOM!" I yell. But then the wall re-generates.

Fuzz...

Haxx wrote:Rules:
- You're trapped in a mall. Fight to the death! (You won't stay dead for long.)
- There are no conventional weapon stores in the mall.
- There are no weapon sections in stores that would normally have them.
- There are no god-power stores.
- Basically, there are only regular mall stores in this mall.

I wake up near the hunting store (A North Carolina thing) and I quickly grab a compound bow and 50 broad head razor tipped arrows. Then I rush out and prepare myself on top of a cola machine in the middle of the food court.

Luke, refer to the rules.

i sit in my electrified garage wondering if anyones gonna try...

I spawn on the top floor of the mall I make a bee line for the fishing store, where I pick up a sling shot and some hard bait and hooks. I push these hooks into the hard bait and make spikey balls of death. I then make my way to the Apple store and get myself a brand new ipod and proceed to download fighting music onto it whilst this is happening i walk across the mall and fine 697 crumpled on the floor I take the oppotunity to kill him by kerb stomping him, I steal his sword and make my way back to the apple store...

Unbeknownst to Darktaint, I survived the stomp. But, also unknown to Darktaint, he dropped one of his spikey balls of death on me, which is what finally killed me.

I respawn right where I died, and pilfer my armour from my corpse, pausing only to admire myself. I make my way back to my makeshift forge and create another sword, which I use to carve out some sturdy wood to make a bow. I find some string lying around and spend the rest of the day making arrows.

I respawn inside my fridge and suffocate again

I casually stroll around the mall, till I hear the sound of an Australian laughing manically. I decide to investigate but before that I remember the Australians one weakness, I make my way to the pet store and release the crocodile from its tank and lead down stairs using bait I place the bait in front of blackadder's store and run waiting for the inevitable showdown between the croc and black adder.

As i kept running towards black with my ball, I see a crocodile there. Foolishly, i threw the and it hit the crocodile.I start running for my life!

Noticing the alligator I sigh, chug the beer, throw a Molotov at it, break a beer bottle open and remove my pants. The music noticing what's happening changes to "Highway to the Dangerzone"

COME AT ME MATE I scream, and jump on top of the burning creature. The creature now burnt, in pain, slightly intoxication-ed cause of the fumes and with a fat Aussie on it is in a world of confusion and pain and commences with a death roll.

Having watched Steve Irwin do it before I knew what to do and proceeded to glass him, however its scales were to thick and i could not penetrate it. The croc then commanced plan B and threw me off painfully into a glass cabinet full of my vodka.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The scream was heard all around the mall, and a blood/vodka soaked Blackadder stood up, a fire burned in his eyes like never before. He charged at the croc with a new intensity and a new bottle of sambuca, jumped on the croc and smashed the bottle over its head. The croc now which was badly burned and pretty tired by now could not take it and gave a last stand biting and clawing the crap out of blackadder, but the fight was won.

He stood up and looked at Darktain who still in shock over this win, calmy poured the rest of the bottle of vodka on himself, and light it on fire.

A burning bloody Blackadder now looked him in the eye whispered "your turn now mate", broke the vodka bottle and charged for all his might....

697134002 wrote:Luke, refer to the rules.

But a bow is not a "Conventional weapon" it's a hunting tool.

But anyways, my bow vanishes because it's not allowed! Now I arm myself with a soda bomb built out of mentos and a few six packs of soda!

I have finished making 100 arrows. I head over to a clothing store and get some fabric, then make a quiver out of it. I retreat back into the hardware store and wait for someone to enter, so that I could shoot them.