[DAY 17.1] The Artifact - Multiverse Mayhem!

[motormaniac]

Dead thread is dead? I don't want this thread to be a dead thread.

[minnerthecat]

Me neither Motor, but Hax did say he had some things going on in his life that had been distracting him, and those DO take priority. I'm sure he'll be back if/when he's able, until then we'll just have to be patient!

[D_Mc_G]

Read through the lot tonight, really good work so far. Looking forward to more!

[Invunarble]

I am also looking forward to more of this.

Haxx, stahp procrastinating!

[asi1998]

I am also looking forward to more of this.

Haxx, stahp procrastinating!

[minnerthecat]

I think it's probably safe to say this story is over, unfortunately.

[Invunarble]

If it was over, then the release of Tolteca's storyline quests would be delayed indefinitely.

Shortly put, once artifact is done, we can start Tolteca's storyline ingame.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXX!

[motormaniac]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXX!

[minnerthecat]

12/12/12 is for something far more awesome.

Well I can only assume that since Elder Scrolls 5 came out on 11/11/11, this can only mean the release of Elder Scrolls 6...
...there is no other possibility.

[motormaniac]

Then the elder scrolls after that would come out on 13/13-... wait.. I guess it would have to wait for 1/1/1. Well, only 88 more years.

[motormaniac]

Haxx, don't make me beat you with a stick.

[motormaniac]

It's been more than two months haxx, get your shit together

[motormaniac]

*Commence beating of haxx with stick*

[asi1998]

*Commence beating of haxx with stick*

*commences

[Invunarble]

<can't tell what project has a longer delay on it, this or interra

[LS13]

Interra. Not even close enough to joke about.

[vallorn]

The glue on this thread came unstuck until Haxx proceeds to work on it.

[Iron_Fang]

Honestly, I think Haxx should just give up control of this project. Hand it on to someone else, maybe give them a guideline of what you want to unfold (I'd even be up for finishing this myself, not sure if it's even a viable possibility), but stop claiming responsibility for this series if you can't give it a proper upkeep.

He is quite busy at the moment and with very important stuff stuff

[haxxorzd00d]

The Interlude

"TNT cannons primed. Splash jets primed. Lava launchers primed. All systems operational." The helicopter's onboard computer said everything Steve needed to hear.
"Deri, anything on our tail?" he asked into his com-unit.
"No, sir!" came the reply.
"Alright, we're all set." He punched a few buttons on the control panel and a tiny, distant blip appeared on the craft's radar.
"Good thing we had him micro-chipped after that whole ReCUT incident."
Without hesitation, Steve pushed the flight control stick straight forward, and set off in the
direction of the radar blip. "Operation Getbatten is a-go."
The bank job had been a roaring success. With the help of a few willing volunteers - who, due to a clever bit of small print on Steve's part, received nothing for their services - the CUT rebels were able to liberate a substantial quantity of epic loot from Beard-Tec's master vault. A shady trip into Escapia's underground weapons market saw that loot converted into some seriously overpowered, and entirely illegal, firepower. The company helicopter spent a few days in Wtd and Dnl's redstone chop-shop being pimped out, and was soon well equipped for an assault on whatever force had kidnapped Mountbatten.

Any other man in his situation would have been terrified, but Louis Mountbatten was no other man. For him, the black bag over his head was merely a suggestion that it was time for a nap. After all, this was a man who had been blown to bits and subsequently reincarnated; something as trivial as a kidnapping was nothing to get one's knickers in a twist about. His meditation was, however, interrupted when the bag was removed and a bright white light shone into his face.
"Do you mind? I'm quite sensitive to light at my age," he remarked.
"Where is it?" a voice said coldly, from somewhere behind the white glare.
"I haven't a clue what you're talking about," Lord replied.
"The cube. It was in your possession."
"Oh, that? I left it in the occasionally capable hands of my board of directors. I'm sure they've secreted it away until my return."
"Your employees are dead," the voice sneered.
"Well, if you can't find this cube of yours, then they must've gotten away," Lord commented casually, a smirk forming on his face. "I suggest you check your facts before making such wild claims."
"Enough talk!" The voice was growing impatient. "CUT headquarters was destroyed. There were no survivors, and no sign of the cube. So where is it!?"
"My directors are resourceful, you know. They'll be hatching a masterful - well, an admirable - well, uh, a plan at least."
"You won't talk, huh? Very well. We have ways of making you talk." With that, the white light was extinguished and Lord was plunged into pitch-black darkness. He heard boots on metal storming out of the room, and the elegant swish of an automated door. Suddenly a grinding sound echoed in the small metallic room, and Lord heard pistons pushing something out of the floor in front of him. The mysterious machine suddenly glowed orange, and he could see it was a dispenser, filled to the brim with fire charges.
"Oh, really now. There's no need for that; you'll singe my suit," he exclaimed.
"You will tell us the location of the cube," the voice rang out, evidently over some sort of speaker system.
"You forget, I'm part creeper. You set me alight and I'll blow your whole operation sky-high."
The voice laughed. "Nice try. Our interrogation room was designed to resist any level of explosive force or Ender-magic."
"Ah, well then it's a good thing I was bluffing about that. I'm really just stalling for time until they show up."
"You can't screw with me, Mountbatten. Nobody's coming, and you know it."
Suddenly Lord heard a muffled commotion through the speaker.
"What? What do you mean breached? Someone's inside the compound?"
Lord smiled.
"See, told you so."

It was taking all Steve's concentration not to get himself incinerated.
The blip on the helicopter's radar had led him directly to Wokka's World, the secretive and shadowy fortress of Escapia's overlord. He was presently ducking and diving in an outstanding effort to avoid the stronghold's security systems; TNT and fire charges flew in all directions, and lava falls poured down from dispensers high above. Nevertheless, Steve pressed ahead, loosing the chopper's preposterous arsenal of weapons into Wokka's defences. He had successfully blasted his way through several layers of security and had now reached the inner compound.
"Alright, this is it!" Steve yelled to Derigin. "We're going in!"
Suddenly the entire stronghold seemed to tremble. A great, thunderous rumble shook the helicopter's glass-paned windows, and an enormous cloud of dust blew up out of nowhere and obscured Steve's view.
"Crap, we've lost visual! Computer, splash it!"
The chopper launched a bombardment of splash potion spray into the dust cloud, dissipating it somewhat. The viewport was suddenly filled with stone and brick and TNT cannons; they were heading directly for the centre of the compound - and coming in far too fast.

"We've been compromised. Prepare to launch," the voice commanded. "Louis, you and I are going for a ride."
The metal beneath Lord's feet creaked and squealed, and myriad pistons and mechanisms groaned to life around him. Suddenly he got the feeling he was no longer on solid ground.
"Oh, good. This will give them something to chase."

Moments away from a catastrophic crash-landing, Steve was stunned when the solid ground in front of him simply... disappeared? No, whatever had been there seconds ago had inexplicably risen high into the air. The chopper flew under the hulking fortress and, when Steve pulled a swift 180-degree turn, he saw that the apparently stationary structure was in fact a Raven Empire UFO. Shattered stone and brick dust poured off the top of the craft. It gave out a deafening hum which rose in pitch until it became a piercing shriek, then rocketed away at a quite fantastic speed. Fortunately Steve was prepared for this; he engaged the helicopter's Ender-powered jet boosters and gave chase. This was getting interesting!

The UFO seemed to be flying to a specific destination. Steve re-routed all the copter's power to its jet boosters; an ill-advised move which could cause spontaneous combustion and other unfortunate things, but quite necessary in this situation. The fleeing UFO remained just out of range of his weapons; he spotted a faint glimmer from the tail end of the craft and was just able to evade a huge diamond-blue beam blasted towards him at impossible speed. He dodged and weaved to avoid these beams for some time, the chopper growing more and more difficult to control with the jet boosters piling on the pressure. Eventually the UFO slowed, just for a moment - long enough for him to train every one of the helicopter's weapons on it and fire.

In an instant, Lord, and the chair he was chained to, were upside-down. Something had evidently struck the craft - something big. Alarms rang out all around him, and hurried footsteps pounded the metal plates outside his cell. He had thought the chair to be bolted down; evidently the blast had shaken it loose, so this was the perfect time for him to make his great escape. He stumbled to his feet, the room listing treacherously from side to side, and made his way into the outer corridor. He could soon see why such panic had ensued; one end of the corridor was entirely missing, dense forest visible down below. Debris and random miscellanea tumbled out of the gaping hole. As the craft turned and tilted, Lord was flung to the floor. The heavy steel chair began sliding towards the opening.
"No no no, crap crap crap crap crap!" Lord shouted, as the chair tumbled into the maw. He heard a clang and was startled when he stopped short of falling into the twirling trees below; the chair had somehow lodged itself in the gap, and he was now suspended purely by the chains restraining him, dangling precariously above the woods below.
"Well, what a spot of luck!" he thought to himself. He spotted his private helicopter tailing the craft; it seemed to be on fire. Lord briefly observed the chopper launching a primed TNT directly towards him - then everything went black.

Day 12

I took a moment to analyse the delinquents and tearaways standing before me. It didn't take long for me to come to a decision; everyone inEscapia knew who caused the most chaos. The scourge of society, the kind of people the banhammer brigade wouldn't hesitate to put the smackdown on.
"I'll take the griefer," I stated. Comet nodded silently to the man, and his fellow ne'er-do-wells wore dejected expressions. With my new partner in crime at my side I approached the mysterious sphere, which emitted a soft glow.
"Fare thee well, traveller. May you find the treasure you seek," Comet exclaimed. With a final glance into the crowd of dishevelled onlookers, we stepped forth and were enveloped in a blinding white light...

It took me a few seconds to adjust to the change of scenery. My senses were assaulted by a cacophonous roar and blistering heat, and for a moment I thought my journey back to the overworld had gone horribly wrong. But no, I was aware of leaves, and mud, and trees. This was definitely the forest in which I'd had my standoff with Sneaky - but it was on fire.

My first thought was that my loyal griefer had, for want of something better to do, started the blaze. But the bemused expression on his face suggested this wasn't his doing. Suddenly I was thrown to the ground by a powerful explosion from somewhere nearby; just as well, as a chunk of razor-sharp metal whizzed through the space where my vital organs were mere moments ago and embedded itself in a scorched tree. I scrambled to my feet and, against my better judgement, headed for the source of the explosion. As I burst through the brush into a clearing, a scene of total chaos greeted me.

A helicopter had crashed in the clearing. Debris was strewn all over the place; the chopper's huge blades -or what was left of them - were spinning erratically. I could just make out a CUT insignia amidst the wreckage. Above the clearing, barely visible through billowing clouds of acrid black smoke, a gargantuan flying machine blocked out the sun. I recognized it as one if the Raven Empire's UFOs. Weren't those supposedly decommissioned after the Raven invasion of Terra? None of this made any sense.The craft belched out smoke of its own; it was clearly heavily damaged. A sudden commotion drew my attention to the ground.
Charred and choking, Steve and Derigin stumbled out of the blazing debris. Mountbatten was nowhere to be seen. A sudden, blinding searchlight shone down from the UFO onto the two survivors. I dived to the ground and lay still, concealed from view. A metallic voice echoed in the clearing.
"Surrender now. We have the artifact."

ACT THREE

What? Did whoever was up in that UFO really have the artifact? That'd mean it was Sneaky up there, surely?
"Bullshit!" Steve yelled. "We're the ones who have it!" Clearly someone wasn't being entirely honest here.
"Cease your lies. We have Mountbatten, and we have the artifact," the disembodied voice echoed.
"Okay, now I KNOW that's bullshit," Steve replied. I was startled by a sudden, hushed voice behind me.
"Hey, you! What the hell are you doing here!?"
I turned, ready to strike, and saw none other than Lord Mountbatten stood before me, his smart suit oddly unblemished by the inferno.
"Mountbatten!?" I whispered. "What's going on? Where'd that UFO come from?" I heard a commotion from the clearing; the UFO had opened fire on the two CUT employees, who had retreated into the wreckage of their helicopter and were returning fire with a few salvaged weapons.
"That UFO's under Wokka's control," Mountbatten explained. "He was keeping me captive on board; fortunately my loyal employees mounted a daring rescue and busted me out of there."
"So why is everything on fire?" I asked.
"Sadly the plan went a little awry when the rescue turned into a firefight. I bailed into the forest before the chopper was shot down."
"So where's Sneaky?"
"What's Sneaky got to do with anything? You're the one everyone's looking for - wait, where's the artifact!?" For the first time in forever, Lord looked genuinely concerned.
"Sneaky has it, he knocked me out and ran off somewhere-"
"Well don't just lay there in the mud, get after him!"
A low rumbling began to emanate from the UFO; I watched as an intense beam of light cascaded down and began to sweep towards Steve and Derigin.
"You will be abducted. Cease fire."
If Lord and I were to prevent disaster, we'd have to act fast. I heard a rustling in the trees nearby and spotted my griefer friend with a mischievous grin on his face. He had inexplicably acquired some TNT. Plans began to form in my mind...

[haxxorzd00d]

Day 13

As hopeless as this situation looked, I couldn't leave Steve and Deri to face Wokka's wrath. I signalled to the griefer to execute whatever plan he might have, and he gave me a thumbs up. Without hesitation, he burst out of the undergrowth with a lit block of TNT and threw it straight into the tractor beam.
"Hey, catch!" he yelled.
The TNT soared swiftly up into the light beam. Just as the block reached the underbelly of the UFO, it exploded.
The force of the explosion blew the clearing apart. Trees were uprooted, dust and debris whipped up all around, and for a moment I could see and hear nothing. After stumbling blindly around for a few moments, I came to my senses and saw huge chunks of steel and obsidian tumbling from the UFO's mutilated underside and impacting the scorched earth below. The craft wobbled from side to side, kicking out dust and smoke, but it seemed to have remained flight-worthy. Nevertheless, Wokka (or whoever was piloting the UFO) would surely be distracted.
Now was my chance.

I sprinted for the wrecked helicopter, skipping and leaping to avoid dangerous shards of shrapnel. I found Steve and Deri holed up inside the burnt-out shell.
"You!?" Steve cried. "What are you doing here?"
"I'll explain later!" I gabbled.
"Where's Mountbatten? Do they-"
"He's fine, he's just behind-"
But he wasn't. I looked back across the cataclysmic clearing, but neither Lord nor my griefer were anywhere to be seen.
"He's gone! Dammit, I bet he's gone after Sneaky-"
At that moment, a piercing diamond beam struck the ground a metre or two in front of me, tearing the charred soil apart. The UFO had been seriously damaged, but it evidently still packed a punch.
"Screw this, RUN!" Steve shouted.
We turned on our heels and sprinted into the forest; a hundred yards in we realised that Derigin wasn't with us.
Poor, mad Deri, driven bonkers by Mountbatten's cruel enterprise, was still huddled in the wrecked copter, muttering to himself.
"Deri! Come on, get out of there!" Steve yelled. The UFO was primed to fire again. From the corner of my eye, I thought I saw movement in the trees behind us. Could it be Lord and the griefer? Or even Sneaky?
I turned to Steve and said...

[Beltom1066]

I am a terrible lurker for only just finding this.
I miss that door-less castle of mine. It has neighbours now though.

[Sti_Jo_Lew]

Stop lurking, start playing!

[Beltom1066]

That would require leaving the lurking attic, and it's warm up here.

[Sti_Jo_Lew]

I hear the server got a heater installed.

[haxxorzd00d]

GORDON'S ALIVE!
Happy new year! Tolteca may be bowing out to make way for The New Awesomeness, but I'm not done with it yet. Take this as absolute confirmation that you WILL be able to experience the long-awaited Tolteca quest line, and soon. I promise you this. What's more, there will be rewards for your efforts, and if I have my way, you'll earn these rewards not in Tolteca, but in TNA! To quote a famous imbecile, "I have a cunning plan"...

Anyway, as you're no doubt aware, the great Toltecan adventure can't get underway until this epic tale reaches its end. Here's a refresher before we jump back into the action with Day 14 later today. My sincere apologies to all you dedicated fans that I kept waiting for a year - especially Minner, who somehow never gave up hope despite waiting every day for 8 months. I know there was talk of me handing the project off to someone else, or simply abandoning it - but I've come too far for that. Besides, I've known from the start what happens at the end of the whole Tolteca story - and rest assured, you won't see it coming!

Previously...

From the Journal of the Forgotten Archaeologist

At an isolated Borjan dig site, I unearthed a mysterious glowing artifact. I decided to negotiate a deal for it with a CreepsUTrust rep, but things turned ugly and I asked to speak with Mountbatten directly. He put me to work solving the artifact's mysteries, but I couldn't even scratch it. Turns out he was planning to sell it to Wokka anyway - when I tried to stop him, he threw me in a padded cell where I had a crazy vision of pyramids and destruction. Anyway, I was "saved" by the arrival of some masked thugs. I was able to escape with the artifact in hand, but Mountbatten was abducted, and Steve and Deri were trapped in the ruins of CUT HQ. I found myself in the midst of a desolate tundra, with only the name "Beltom" to guide me...

As luck would have it, the forgotten Op Darktaint was able to point me towards Beltom's castle. Beltom explained that the artifact could be a portal key allowing us to reach the homeworld of a forgotten civilization. We paid Sneaky a visit to ask what interest Wokka had in the artifact, but he double-crossed us! He struck me with the banhammer and sent me into the void... I was banned! Fortunately, a guardian spirit helped me return to the overworld by surrendering the artifact and seeking only the truth. And I found it - the artifact wasn't a key, but a door!

When I returned to the overworld, all hell had broken loose. There was a crashed helicopter, and a great big UFO, and everything was on fire! Turns out Steve and Deri had used the CUT chopper to rescue Mountbatten, but they'd been pursued by Wokka in a Raven Empire ship and shot down. Meanwhile, Mountbatten had vanished into the forest, probably in pursuit of Sneaky and the artifact. I helped Steve escape the wreckage, but poor mad Deri was still in there, about to be blasted to bits!

I turned to Steve and said...

[Iron_Fang]

*cough* someone else is watching Flash Gordon on Channel 4?

[haxxorzd00d]

Oh man, is it on? Damn, I should've recorded it.

I was just quoting it, not watching it.

[haxxorzd00d]

“We have to go back for him!”

Without hesitation I turned and dashed back towards Derigin, cowering in the wreckage of the crashed helicopter. Steve was hot on my heels as I ducked into the burned-out fuselage and grabbed Deri by the arm.
“Get up! We’ve gotta-”
Then the UFO opened fire.

Day 14

We should’ve been dead. A blast of that force would certainly have vaporised us - and indeed, as my ears rang and my eyes filled with blinding light, I was sure I was heading for the big spawn point in the sky. But my senses returned to me, and I saw that the UFO's deadly beam had struck a few metres from us. The force of the blast had sent the heavily damaged craft lurching and spinning wildly into the forest, impacting the treeline with a mighty crash and a sizeable crater. I staggered out of the charred wreckage, still reeling, and spotted Derigin on the ground, bleeding profusely. Steve was hunched over him, tending to his wounds.
"It looks worse than it is, " Steve called over to me."He took a chunk of shrapnel to the leg; he can't walk, but he'll live."
Deri seemed unconcerned, continuing to mumble unintelligible gibberish.
"We'll have to carry him," I replied.
"No, Deri and I will just slow you down," Steve said. “This is your fight now; chase Wokka down and get your box back.”
“But Sneaky has the artifact!” I cried. “At least. he did before everything was on fire!”
“No matter - if Wokka’s able to track the artifact, they’ll be meeting each other soon enough.”
“Alright, I’ll get moving. But you two can’t stay here, it’s too dangerous!”
“Don’t you worry about that; a friend owes me a favour.” Steve retrieved a surprisingly undamaged mobile phone from his back pocket and-
“Hey, you’ve got low battery!” I exclaimed. “What are you doing on Facebook!?”
“Trust me, this will work,” Steve replied.
With that, I headed straight for the downed UFO, hoping to find any trace of where its crew might’ve gone - assuming they survived the crash, of course. Sure enough, the wreckage was devoid of life, though I was able to salvage a bow and a handful of arrows. Upon closer inspection of the smouldering crater in which I stood, I noticed tracks leading into the forest. The UFO’s passengers were on the move.

The forest fire had begun to burn itself out, leaving thick clouds of smoke and ashen debris in its wake. Fortunately said ash made for excellent footprints, and I was able to follow the crew deeper into the woods. The trail seemed to meander in odd straight lines with sudden turns - almost as if the group were stopping to check their bearings every few moments.
No. It couldn’t be.
As I trekked on, the trees overhead grew closer and the moonlit night sky began to be obscured. I began to lose sight of the way ahead of me; I stumbled over gnarled roots and walked straight into low branches. At this rate, I’d never be able to follow the tracks.
Suddenly, I heard a rustling behind me. I ducked low and stayed stock still, not daring to even breathe.
“Need a light?” The voice was familiar.
“Jeez, don’t scare me like that! It’s pitch black out here!” I whispered. My loyal griefer stepped out of the shadows and lit a torch, casting flickering rays among the shady trees and onto the downtrodden path ahead of us. Together, we continued cautiously down the gloomy track.
"So..." I started, trying to dispel the awkward silence. "I didn't say anything before, but I feel like I recognise you."
"I expect you do, you've probably seen me in the papers," he replied. A flash of recognition crossed my face.
"Oh yeah! You were a pretty prolific griefer, huh? So how'd you end up getting banned?"
"I didn't," he smirked. "Things were getting a little... heated around here, so I hacked my way into the space between to disappear for a while."
"Oh, and you got stuck down there?" I asked.
"Me, stuck?" he laughed. "Nah, I was just waiting for an opportune moment to return. Truth is, it's not so bad down there."
"Wait, so why can't you use your hacking powers to stop Wokka?" I mused.
"My hackbot needs software updates to keep up with Escapia's security measures, and I haven't had time since, y'know, everything's been on fire or exploding since we got back."
We walked in silence for a few minutes more.
"Hey, I don't think I caught your name," I remarked.
"I had a name once, but it wasn't easy to say," the griefer sighed. "Too many X's. In hindsight it was a poor choice. Anyway, most people call me... Proz."

When we reached the end of the trail, my hunch was confirmed. Before us lay a hastily TNT-blasted tunnel, cascading down into the earth. I could feel a source of great unearthly energy beneath us, and I knew - the tunnel led to a stronghold. I'd heard legends of the dark, Ender-fueled dungeons hidden deep underground, from which few had ever returned. Proz and I clambered down the steeply carved tunnel, careful to avoid wayward lava flows and brief glimpses of monsters in the dark, and as natural stone gave way to finely chiseled brickwork we discovered that which I had dreaded; the portal to the End. My pursuit of the artifact had taken me from sinister corporations, to frozen wastelands, to the endless void of banishment itself - but nothing like this. For the first time in my journey, I was afraid.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Proz piped up. “Let’s get in there and kick some enderdragon ass!”
Proz was right, of course. I’d come too far to back out now. It was time to show the big shots of Escapia that I was no mere pawn in their grand schemes. It was my box, and I was taking it back. As I climbed the brief stairway to the portal, I withdrew my bow and nocked an arrow. Proz retrieved a TNT block from his seemingly endless supply and prepared to light it.
“Ready?” he asked.
“...Let’s do it.”

When I emerged from the portal and the headache-inducing static cleared, everything was happening at once. I was on a large island of strange, creamy-white stone, floating singularly in a jet-black abyss. At one edge of the island stood Sneaky, holding the artifact at arm’s length as if to drop it into the endless void. Mountbatten was beside him - not trying to stop him, but... defending him? What was going on!? I could make out towering obsidian pillars against the darkness, atop each of which was a crystal. Spiralling beams of light and bizarre symbols radiated from these crystals, forming paths of energy to that which I most feared. Hovering above the island, the enderdragon. And upon its back sat none other than Wokka himself.

My appearance created a momentary distraction. All attention turned towards me. With the nocked arrow straining to fly free from my bow, I had to make a snap decision…

It's the ultimate stand-off!
- Shoot Sneaky!
- Shoot Mountbatten!
- Shoot Wokka!
- Shoot the dragon!
- Shoot a crystal!
- Don’t shoot!

Cast your vote now and follow the Artifact saga to its thrilling conclusion!

[vallorn]

*cough* someone else is watching Flash Gordon on Channel 4?

haha yes! I ended up watching it too :3 also I call being Brian Blessed.

[Invunarble]

Ubuuwhat?! Artifact? A year later? waaat? With Proz and hackbots? It's a PoE crossover?

Anyways, I vote that the crystal gets shot. It'll probably blow up or something.